As I have been wrapping things up this past week at the elementary school library I have worked at for the past three school years, I have been pondering many things. What projects should I tackle before the school year ends as it seems we have even less time to finish up things this year as we lost about another five days due to budget cuts.
Even though in the back of my mind, I have been somewhat prepared for the possibility of my position to be eliminated or have reduced hours due to the budget. What I'm facing now, I did not anticipate as I should have. This past Saturday I receieved an email from the CSEA union VP from my school district outlining the various cuts to classified employees in the school district I work at to be voted on this past Tuesday. Among those in being having their position eliminated or hours reduced were 9 out of the 13 elementary school library aides. I was not on the list, thankfully or not so thankfully.
Even though my position is not being eliminated or my hours being reduced (currently, I have 20), I now am waiting to see if my phone is going to ring informing me to come down to HR. While my position is safe, I am not safe from being bumped from my position by someone with more seniority if they choose to do so. So now, wait I must. My immediate boss has told me to think positive. I am trying but the end of the school year always brings a twinge of sadness for me as I say goodbye to students, teachers and staff for the summer. Now the question is whether I shall be returning for the next school year or will someone else be running the small library I have worked very hard to improve in the past three school years?
Someone told me that one should not become too attached to one's job. I suppose she has a point. But I have become very attached to my small school library. I have nurtured her with new books which I have spent countless hours on my own time searching at used bookstores, the closing Borders, Friends of Library bookstores, Scholastic Warehouse sales and more. I have spent hours weeding out old books, repairing books (sometimes the very same ones over and over), reorganizing the library's collection to facilitate better use of the collection and more.
Almost like the process of grieving for a lost one, I find myself grieving what may be the loss of this position. Granted, I am trying to remain positive in light of the situation but it is easier said than done. First it was denial, then sadness, then anger and now more of an acceptance, all done in a matter of a few days.
If it comes to that I do actually get bumped from this position and am told I can bump someone else if I do have seniority, I have already decided to decline such action. Even if I were to lose my position because someone else needs that job, I cannot bring myself to do the same to someone else. At this time, if it comes to that, I shall look at this as an opportunity to explore new experiences and challenges.